Diwali ..

No this is not an account bashing the diwali celebrations or neither am i writing an essay on my favorite festival. But there s one reaally insane aspect of the festival. Its the House cleaning part of it. THis year since am at home my ma chose me as the secretary in chief to rummage a literal war against the junk in the house.. The logic is simple. Lakshmi , the goddess of wealth, enters the house thats clean. Isnt it ironic how its the same metaphoric lakshmi or money that compels us to collect the very clutter in the first palce. A destitute apparently has no lakshmi to splurge on to! that means lesser clutter and a lot cleaner house...

I have my POV on this too.... well yeah i have opinions about everything  :D.... I feel the real meaning behind the very lakshmi poojan is be contented.. watch ur money to ur heartss worth and that probably should make u feel flfilled and satisfied... but strangely it actually ignites the very fire of greed, fire of wants and desires... Eventually burns out the human in you and leaves that heart into a a mere pump!!it beats but just like a machine would!

audacity of honesty anyone??!!!

Well ive been reading the Dreams from my father by the american president Barack Obama himself. An honest account into his growing up days trying to battle the rascism. The sheer honesty is unnerving but then since he wasnt anybody when he wrote the book. i dont think he d ever be writing something this honest now :P! This gets me retrospecting as to why do we always end lying tryin to show what we rightfully ought to be instead of who we truly are.
fairness creams, asset enhancing surgeries, botox, coaching classes fr the med n engg classes.... the list to things we endorse to be wht the convention wants is endless.... I wanna break free .. or wait well i gotta go need to let my fairness mask dry ... hehehe! so much for my i hate hypocris crap :P..... I have trying for a long time to make my peace with it now!!!

mental mess!

u knw at times things around happen at such nasty speed that you rarely get a chance to actually sit and let it sink. I mean its been a dream of sorts since childhood that i wanted to go to the US. After my msc it was probably a natural choice out. but i simply dont knw what exactly went haywire and whr! i mean i altercated with many people just to prove tht im not a green-card crazed female. but now that i can see it happening right before my very eyes ill tell u have started developing cold feet or no feet with frostbites. I hate the changes i hate the fact that things may not just be the same ever! I hate changes. Moving out of my comfort zone just to prove my point is suddenly feeling really insane right now. I mean it almost has numbed all the " joy" that i should have felt seeing the long lived dream come true.

I retrospect about y exactly do i wanna go n thn thr s ths accused deep at the back of my mind who still feels guilty about not being able to live wht her parents dreamed for, the guilt of her audacity to live her own dreams at the risk of modifying the ones her parents saw. Not tht they evr even implicated that they wanted me to do somethng i did not. but i guess the societal pressure does tend to get on u n felt that a bsc or an msc did nothing more than tounge wagging of the so called "well wishers" who spent no time in lettin me knw that a doctor s daughter doing her bsc rahter than her medicine is a social suicide.
I just want my parents to feel tht high which i was so nastily reminded by everyone who had nothing to do with my life, tht i owed thm or that sense of pride tht was rightfully thrs to demand frm me but they dint.

Which boils down to the fact that who exactly s dream am i living?? mine.. i dnt think so... parents ... well yeah maybe but more so for the kith and the kin. Am i fool in doing ths??? u tell me!!

rightly accounts for a mental mess!!!

:D

back after a really long time! time cramped as ever! a lil worried bout admission... scared bout burdening my dad with so much of expense/ the fact of him placing his old age over my education is enough for a long guilt trip!
nothing much to update! life s pretty monotonous! traffic here is as insane as ever!
u knw i need a break! just want to run away to a quite plae like say ladakh, trek around ...... just wanna beat the blues!!!! m suffering from wht many call as burnout!!! right from 12 th all ive done is slogging! one thng or another!! exams have iterally dulled my reflexes and impulses too! tht drive to kill is almost dead!!!

waiting to recharge!! :P! anyway happy weekend!

STOP STEREOTYPIN US!

WELL M not a "soapy" person if i may so! but yeah again th teasers of certain shows make cringe literally! latest being somethng called MANIBEn somthng!

ok being a gujju a proud one mind u the accent tht th lead female speaks in HURTS!!! actually its more like the accent she caws in! NO WE GUJJUS NOT ALL OF US SPEAK AS IF V COME FROM THE KAKA LAND.... i agree some do like their 'snakes' before appearin for 'tastes' in school but thn every indian carries his/ her unique accent .. tht makes it distinct whr he belongs to .... y stereotype a select few.... or in tht case anyone.......... i myself dnt sound as if i caw neither do any of us have handva fafda jalebi for our breakfast.... ths is just MISREPRESENTATION....
stereotypin anyone just for sake of laughs is a sick way of potraying any segment on the screen.... earlier it was sardar for being dimwitted... now the TV biggies have made gujjus the next sardars... hasso jitna hasna hai utna hasso we ll make thm look more foolish every passin day... no our gujju mani ben thinks its cool to dry her pappad on new cars ..................NO THANK U!!!!!

ME vs ME

A tear that flowed,

Solaced my pillow

Mother'ss Lap,

The heart that bled

Drop by drop,

Sword of guilt that slayed,

Overfilled the Goblet of ire..

Pseudointellect that cried hoarse

But conviction never entailed acquital,

Even when its me vs me...

a death that i meet everyday.

Ceasefire prervails,

swords drawn down,

But i still ponder,

'will all the perfumes of arabia wash this smell of blood'!

Though over a battle still was,

Blood still shed n mind still perturbed,

A war is still a war,

Its still Me VS Me!!!!

Was driving on my two wheeler today whn an ambulance whizzed past me...It carried a box of sorts wherein a dead body had been placed.... that somehow made me feel a little complacent and to a point a little eerie..., blame the complacency to the fact that it kinda made me more aware of my life and existence.,. that coffin somehow drew a territory around his dead turf n my alive.. standing on the other side of that very unchangable fact ofmy life also made me realise how we take our lives for granted its like being invincible. Weird it was!!! i got thinking bout how he must have had a life ( or she never got a chance to see the corpse) must have had kids a spouse parents... Must have had that last desire to eat mayb a dairy milk or mayb just to sneeze that last time and tab shaayab time nai raha!!!
Shit imagine how would u feel... dnt waste any moment...